Tuesday, April 20, 2010

20 April 2010 - I think my body is telling me.........

to never do any physical activity again.  At least that's what it feels like.  It seems no matter what I try to do for exercise, no matter how light, my body rebels and a minor gout attack ensues.  Go for a walk?  My big toe starts hurting.  Do 20 minutes on the eliptical?  My ankle will hurt the next day.  Clean the car? (like that's even exercise).  My ankle, big toe, achilles heal and my knee start bugging me.  I'm almost afraid to make a bowl of cereal for fear that I won't be able to get out of bed the next day.

Okay, so maybe it's not that bad.  Over the last month or two, doing any kind of exercise, like a session on the eliptical or going for a walk, has resulted in a minor gout attack, usually the next day.  At least this time I was able to get four days of light activity in before my joints said, "enough!"  My whole body is feeling quite gouty right now, my right achilles tendon being the worst spot for pain.  My left foot/ankle isn't far behind, though.  My left big toe and left wrist along with my left knee are also giving me some problems.  This is all compounded by my f*#%#@& back which is also very, very sore.  Who knew that vacuuming out a car was so hard on the body?

I do have a doctors appointment scheduled for Thursday and hopefully I will get my latest UA readings then.  If I'm still hurting, I'm also hoping to get a bit of respite in pill form from the doctor.  I am currently taking two diclofenac tablets a day to try to help with the pain and they do absolutely nothing.  Diclofenac, or Voltaren as it's sometimes called, is an NSAID given out by doctors to help with arthritis and acute injury pain.  Yeah, maybe if I weren't dealing with a bum knee, bad back and simultaneous gout attacks in five of my joints, I 'might' feel some benefit from taking this supposed 'wunderdrug' (oh yeah, it's GREAT stuff say my German friends and doctors).  If my internal organs could handle it, I don't think I'd feel any benefit from eating twenty of these pills at once.  I'm on an entirely different level when it comes to pain, being able to withstand more than most mere mortals are supposed to and still keep a smile on my face.  It's the days, like today, when even my pain threshold is surpassed, when I may need something a bit stronger.  But, I'm labeled a 'druggie' or an 'addict' if I so much as ask for a three day supply of Percocet or even Tramadol (I like the latter much better than the narcotic pain pills - works better). 

If I could be granted one wish pertaining to all of my medical woes but wasn't allowed to wish my problems away, that wish would be to have every medical professional experience just one week of what I go through.  I'm sure most chronic pain sufferers would wish something similar just so people would understand them better and understand what they have to deal with just to try to live a normal life.  I guarantee that most people would be crying for their mommy after just 12 hours of going through a single gout attack in a single joint.  Try it for 15 years or longer.

I apologize for my tone today.  I'm in a rebelious mood and not looking for sympathy at all.  I've got my 'screw it all' attitude going and feel like dusting my mountain bike off, putting a stick between my teeth and going for a long ride on the most rugged trails I can find - damn the pain.  I've lived through worse.  I'll still outride you and beat you down the hill.  It will make me feel tough and make me feel like I've accomplished something and make me feel like I'm in control.  In reality, though, it will just make things way worse and put me in a state where I won't even be able to move for a week.  I know this and I've learned this through doing exactly what I described above.  I may be dumb, but I'm no idiot.

Okay, so I'm really just hoping that the pain I'm feeling right now doesn't get any worse.  I have a very nice trip to look forward to with my wife to Vienna this weekend.  I just need something that will allow me to at least get out of the damn hotel room in case this pain does persist.  Is that so much to ask?  Does that make me a bad person?  It seems in some people's eyes, it does.   

3 comments:

  1. Great site! -Ugh, I can feel your pain. I haven't read it all, but do you or have you taken colchicine? Nothing works better for my husband when having an attack or more recently while initiating an AlloP regiment. I know what you mean about the drug-seeker accusations, we experienced that too. Stick with a Rheumatologist, and find one you like and trust.

    -Jessica

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  2. Thank you for the comment! I have tried colchicine on a few occassions and it just doesn't jive with me. There is no way I could take that drug and go to work. It really affects my system in a negative way, unfortunately. I can handle most drugs quite easily, but not this one.

    I'm in kind of a unique situation with my health care. I'm an American living in Germany but I do have access to American doctors on military bases. I go between them and the German doctors depending on what type of treatment I need. For really bad attacks, I see the German orthopedist to get joints drained and to recieve cortisone injections. For minor attacks and for my prescriptions and blood work, I see the American docs. I've tried the Rheumatologists over here and have had bad results. If/when I get back to the States, my first priority will be finding a good reheumatologist.

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  3. Nate, I feel for you. I am going through something similar like yours, but it is not the same. My gout effects are different, as you know: open wounds on my toes and fingers.
    I feel, I have done everything I have thought of and it seems that I am not getting anywhere.

    Your wish is great. Add mine to it. There is only ONE thing wrong: We both know that our wish will not be heard and fulfilled. It ain't going to happen.

    Your 'screw it all' attitude isn't going to do it, as you said yourself. I know it didn't work for me.

    Here is a new twist on the subject. I have just realized and admitted to myself and maybe one or two people that Mother Nature is paying me back for my arrogance, so I said, but it is in all reality MYSELF who is paying me back. By the way, I have been called worse than "You arrogant son of a bitch". Now what has that to do with being arrogant against myself? As I said to my doctor about 8,9 years ago: "I ain't giving up my red meats, my steaks, my beer, my wine , you name it. It's all I have. I'll take your meds and live with it." All he said was: " With your fatalistic attitude there is nothing you and/or I can do for you!"
    While I wasn't trying to be arrogant towards the doctor, it was certainly arrogance against myself. And as I said, MYSELF is paying me back NOW.

    Nate, don't get to that point!!! One thing is difficult to see, that is, when/if we do that to ourselves. I am not saying that you are arrogant against yourself. I am just cautioning you not to get to where I was. In other words: When your body says: “Don’t o it” listen to your sixth sense or gut feeling. I assure you, 95-98% of the time you’ll do the right thing. Don’t do all the things others are telling you, including me, or are trying to help you with. Yes, read it, listen to it, BUT DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS AND MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS.

    I know, Sunday was yesterday, and my soap box is getting kind of soggy, but this was a good time to talk to you while my foot is soaking in a Mg salt solution.

    Till next time,

    Hans

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